The first time I thought about my own wedding was after I graduated business school. I'd just turned 30, and figured that I should start thinking about marriage. I had a boyfriend at the time, a nice guy who I liked a lot but didn't love. Still, alone in my bedroom, I started visiting a wedding website to look at wedding gowns and bridesmaids dresses. It seemed like harmless fantasy, so I made an account and started to save designs that I liked. Besides, I'd never really thought about my own wedding, so I rationalized that I'd need to use my research someday. Meanwhile, I spent more and more time each night looking at wedding attire and imagining how it would feel to walk down the aisle in a spectacular dress. The boyfriend didn't last, but my penchant for wedding planning did.
In my next relationship with a man named Anthony*, we actually talked about marriage. At dinner one night, I drew him a picture of the ring I wanted. By then, I'd graduated from dresses to engagement rings, and I'd settled on a ring from Tiffany, the name and prices for which I'd memorized. I also started keeping a list of wedding songs on my phone, imagining my boyfriend and I entering the reception hall to one of our favorites.
At the time, I didn't think I was getting ahead of myself—I finally had a reason to think about getting married! And a list of songs to be played at my erstwhile wedding would certainly be of use at any party. I dismissed the wedding planning as a fun pastime. Didn't tons of women fantasize about getting married? |
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