Sunday, September 26, 2021

No, Marrying a Man Does Not Make My Bisexuality Any Less Valid

 
 
In honor of Bi Visibility Day, please stop questioning my queerness.
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No, Marrying a Man Does Not Make My Bisexuality Any Less Valid
 
For the first 23 years of my life, I was afraid to be myself because of how I saw the media treat bisexual women. I mean, look at what happened to Aubrey Plaza. When it was announced that she, our favorite bisexual actor and icon, married a man this past May, the internet lost its shit.

Twitter was buzzing with biphobic tweets about how the gay community "lost someone great"—when really, these people should have been sad she was off the market completely, regardless of who she was with.

Then there's that time in 2016 when Buzzfeed wrote an article about Halsey, claiming that she was "straightening" their persona for the sake of being a mainstream pop artist. (Which perpetuates the belief that bisexual people must choose to be straight or gay, by the way.)

Halsey responded in a series of tweets, now deleted, saying, "Well @buzzfeed sorry I'm not gay enough for you" and "tiresome analysis of my 1 year in the public eye and the ignorance of 8+ years of sexual discovery to determine if I'm truly queer + is part of a mentality so engrained in the erasure of bisexual 'credibility' even within the LGBT community."

For these reasons (plus a few comments here and there from friends who claimed I wasn't "queer" enough as a bisexual woman), I was terrified. I didn't know what it would mean for me if I chose to be with a woman over a man or a man over a woman.

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