Sunday, April 17, 2022

Welcome to the Wild World of "Are We Sharing Boyfriends?" Facebook Groups

Part of the Shared Human Experience is scrolling too much, clicking too far, and ending up in The Seventh Circle of Social Media Hell—stumbling upon stuff you didn't want to know about a prospective love match. (Please see: Your ex's Twitter likes, your partner's Venmo transactions, or updates to your Hinge crush's profile.) Nadia*, 25, used to pride herself on not engaging in this level of internet sleuthing, until she joined her local "Are We Sharing Boyfriends?" (AWSB) Facebook group.

If you've never heard of AWSB, let me fill you in. They're city-specific groups where women post photos of the people they're dating, either because they have a hunch that their partners might be cheating, or because they want the inside scoop on the person if the relationship is new. The groups boast an impressive number of members—there are three Las Vegas groups that, combined, have over 11,000 members. Seattle, Bakersfield, California, and Philly have nearly 3,000 members each. Some groups, like Little Rock, Arkansas, are harder to find—you can only join if the admin invites you—and some city's groups have rules upon joining, like, "No snitching and NO starting drama." There's even a group in Lexington, Kentucky, with 2,200 members.

You have to request to join and admins have to accept, but once you're in, you unlock a John Tucker Must Die-style paradise where women band together against the modern dating hellscape to expose one philandering partner at a time. All it takes is a single photo of a potential cheater and a quick explanation that covers why you think they're sus, and group members will flock to the comments to reveal all the dirt they can find. At times, even a simple "Does anyone know him?" will spark hours of commentary. At least, that's how it went for Nadia in the Las Vegas group.

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