Inside the Conservative-Backed Movement to Make Divorce Almost Impossible for Young Women

On a Sunday night, a week before our one-year anniversary, my husband came home and handed me his wedding ring. He'd cheated, he told me, and "didn't deserve it anymore." He wanted to break up.

I felt betrayed, of course. And terrified to tell my friends and family that my relationship had fallen apart. I was 25; he was 24. In the early months of our marriage, we were giddy. Everything felt new. We'd invite people over for dinner and get ready together in the mornings. We established a happy routine. But then…I started working late. He started staying out late on the weekends. I was spending most of my time alone.

Just that past weekend, we'd gotten into a series of arguments before a day trip with his family. He got upset and yelled at me in front of everyone, then I got upset and shut down for the rest of the day. On our drive home, as he drunkenly dozed in the passenger seat, I steered the car down a country road and wondered, When did things get so hard? Still, everyone had told me that the first year of marriage is the most difficult, so I assumed that my experience was common. A part of me thought, Maybe this is just how marriage will be for me.

I spent the morning after my husband's confession sobbing between work calls, and that afternoon, I packed a duffle and went to my parents'. After sleeping in my childhood bedroom for a few weeks and making dozens of pros-and-cons lists, I had to face reality. He and I had very different expectations for our relationship. And although the mere idea of him left me enraged and disgusted, at least on one point, he was right. It was time for a divorce.

"Can I get an annulment if I've been married less than a year?" I googled late one night. This turned up some confusing results, so I streamlined the query: "How to get a divorce."

The search results were surprisingly grim. Even though we had only been married for a short time, had no children, and didn't own any property together, in our home state of North Carolina, we couldn't quickly part ways. It had taken just an hour and $60 to get our marriage license, now, according to state law and a mandatory separation period, we were doomed to stay married for another entire year.

If you have trouble viewing this email, view it in a browser.  SHOP EXCLUSIVE SUBSCRIBE Inside the Conservative-Backed Movement to Make Divorce Almost Impossible for Young Women On a Sunday night, a week before our one-year anniversary, my husband came home and handed me his wedding ring. He'd cheated, he told me, and "didn't deserve it anymore." He wanted to break up. I felt betrayed, of course. And terrified to tell my friends and family that my relationship had fallen apart. I was 25; he was 24. In the early months of our marriage, we were giddy. Everything felt new. We'd invite people over for dinner and get ready together in the mornings. We established a happy routine. But then…I started working late. He started staying out late on the weekends. I was spending most of my time alone. Just that past weekend, we'd gotten into a series of arguments before a day trip with his family. He got upset and yelled at me in front of everyone, then I got upset and shut down for the rest of the day. On our drive home, as he drunkenly dozed in the passenger seat, I steered the car down a country road and wondered, When did things get so hard? Still, everyone had told me that the first year of marriage is the most difficult, so I assumed that my experience was common. A part of me thought, Maybe this is just how marriage will be for me. I spent the morning after my husband's confession sobbing between work calls, and that afternoon, I packed a duffle and went to my parents'. After sleeping in my childhood bedroom for a few weeks and making dozens of pros-and-cons lists, I had to face reality. He and I had very different expectations for our relationship. And although the mere idea of him left me enraged and disgusted, at least on one point, he was right. It was time for a divorce. "Can I get an annulment if I've been married less than a year?" I googled late one night. This turned up some confusing results, so I streamlined the query: "How to get a divorce." The search results were surprisingly grim. Even though we had only been married for a short time, had no children, and didn't own any property together, in our home state of North Carolina, we couldn't quickly part ways. It had taken just an hour and $60 to get our marriage license, now, according to state law and a mandatory separation period, we were doomed to stay married for another entire year. READ MORE J.Lo and Ben Affleck Were Spotted "Kissing" and "Holding Hands" This Weekend Plot! Twist! READ MORE Your Weekly Horoscope Sees Major Changes Coming Everything you need to know for the upcoming week. READ MORE   Presenting: All the Key Differences Between the 'Uglies' Book and the Netflix Movie "Pretty Town" isn't even a thing! READ MORE Presenting: All the Key Differences Between the 'Uglies' Book and the Netflix Movie "Pretty Town" isn't even a thing! READ MORE   These Are the Chicest Ways to Wear Jean Jackets With Jeans—I Said It! You need to try 'em out. READ MORE These Are the Chicest Ways to Wear Jean Jackets With Jeans—I Said It! You need to try 'em out. READ MORE How Much Money Do Emmy Winners Make? Asking for My Close and Personal Friend, Ayo Edebiri. In other words... is the paycheck as pretty as the award? READ MORE Follow Us Unsubscribe | Privacy Notice | CA Notice at Collection Cosmopolitan is a publication of Hearst Magazines. ©2024 Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This email was sent by Hearst Magazines, 300 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019-3779