If you’re on TikTok, you’ve probably seen them on your FYP, wearing athleisure sets in chic neutrals while making the bed. Or preparing coffee for their boyfriends and a Bloom Nutrition drink for themselves. Maybe they’re getting their nails done, showing you their skincare routine, or going to Pilates, narrating their day while twinkly music plays in the background: “A day in my life as a stay-at-home girlfriend.”
Search terms like “stay-at-home girlfriend” (37.3 million views), “life as a stay-at-home girlfriend” (37.8 million views), “stay at home GF” (36.2 million views), and “SAHG” (34 million views) are increasingly popular on TikTok. The trend has been featured in recent pieces in the New York Post and the Wall Street Journal, the latter of which attributed it to “a Gen Z move away from mid-2000s ‘girl boss’ hustle culture, and toward aspirations of a softer life.” Some of the SAHGs describe their lifestyle in similar, seemingly progressive language: “People used to ask me, ‘What’s your dream job?’ I never knew the answer. I realized it’s because I don’t dream of labor. I dream of living a soft, feminine life and being a hot housewife. It’s as simple as that,” says influencer Kendel Kay (@kendelkay) in a video with 1.6 million views from September 2023.
But as some of the comments on these TikToks vocally point out, the life of a SAHG is risky, to say the least. “It’s all well and good until he breaks up with you,” wrote one. Enter: the side of SAHG TikTok you don’t see—the post-breakup videos warning you of the financial and emotional risks that come with this lifestyle. They might not be as sparkly or aspirational (which might explain why they don’t have as many views), but they’re just as real and important. And if you’re going to surrender financial independence to become a SAHG, you should go into it with clarity about what could happen if the relationship ends.
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