Sunday, October 9, 2022

Are We Actually Attracted to People Who Remind Us of Our Parents? Experts Say, Uh, Yeah

There are people who look like their dogs—whether it's a poodle-chic perm, bulging puggy eyes, or a bony greyhound-like snout—and then there are people who look like their partners. Just think of all the times you've played a game of Siblings-or-Dating, attempting to decipher if the blondes two tables over are on a date or if they share roughly 50 percent of their DNA. And while there are many factors that contribute to who we're attracted to, resemblance between partners may be partially attributable to the theory that we're actually attracted to people who remind us (boner-killer ahead!!)…of our parents. Womp womp.

Okay, don't freak out. I'm not saying you're attracted to your parents. I'm only saying you may, consciously or not, base some of what you're looking for in a partner off of what you saw as a baby or child, modeled by your parents or guardians.

After all, it was your earliest caretakers who fed you and bathed you and kept you safe from the monsters under your bed. And it was them, Seattle-based relationship, intimacy, and sex therapist Claudia Johnson says, who shaped your first impressions of the world you now inhabit, for better or worse. "The nuclear family [is] your first point of contact when you're developing and you're recognizing what is healthy, what's unhealthy, what feels good, what doesn't feel good, what is safe versus what isn't," Johnson says.

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